Member-only story
Emotions Are Just Information
A few months ago, I signed up for a six-week group therapy program. In this group, we discussed emotions often, especially as they pertained to relationships. We laughed about the funny aspects of sexuality and cried about the way our parents made us feel when we were young.
And sometimes we judged the way we felt.
One of the therapists there said something that really stuck with me.
Emotions aren’t good or bad, they’re just information.
She followed this up by saying that we really don’t need to judge our emotions. Hearing that gave me a deep sense of freedom.
I spent so much time judging myself based on the emotions I felt. I was bad and worthless because I was depressed. I was bad and worthless because I was anxious.
With this new understanding, I feel like I can acknowledge my depression or anxiety without wallowing in it. I don’t have to live in that place anymore. I can acknowledge that I’m depressed without making a judgment of myself.
I always felt extreme guilt after I would feel angry or sad when I was younger. Writing that I was sad or upset with my parents in my journal would prompt me to tear up the page and then feel like I had just done the worst thing in the world.
After the group session, I definitely find myself taking more time to assess what an emotion is telling me rather than trying to stop feeling it. If I’m feeling angry, I don’t tell myself not to be. I try to see what that anger is telling me. I could be jealous. I could be sad. I could be failing to communicate. The point is that I need to look beyond the surface. I need to stop fleeing from the feeling.
Ultimately, no emotion defines me. An emotion does not have to hurt me. When I don’t judge my emotions, I feel much more in control of my behavior and my life.
Read More:
