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Realizing Things That Were Weird: School Fundraisers
You’re sitting in the school cafeteria with the rest of your fourth grade class. A teacher flickers the lights to get your attention. A man in sunglasses and a loose suit at the front of the room regales the room with stories about winning prizes. A ride in a limo! A sparkly bracelet! A new bike!
All you have to do is sell a bunch of shit. Which doesn’t sound too hard, until you remember you are a literal child.
We all wanted to be the kid in the limo.
The kid who got the limo ride was the luckiest kid in school. I remember thinking that some kid in my school sold enough to get the limo ride, but I don’t remember a single thing about it. The limo ride was an urban legend.
It was aspirational. My school wanted me to be the kid who got the ride in the limo. My friends wanted to be in the limo with me. It was unfathomable as a child to not want that limo ride.
Looking back, how cool could it really be? Getting dropped off at school in a limo is a flash in the pan. Cool. You sold a lot of wrapping paper, and ten people standing outside the school saw you get out of a long car.
Sticky hands awarded to everybody who participated? Those are forever.
