“The story of human intimacy is one of constantly allowing ourselves to see those we love the most deeply in a new, more fractured light. Look hard. Risk that.”
Tiny Beautiful Things — Cheryl Strayed
This is one of the first quotes I wrote in the small notebook where I like to keep inspiration and wisdom. My understanding of intimacy evolves as I grow older, and I see my approach to achieving intimacy change as well.
To be truly intimate with somebody is to see them for who they really are, as imperfect as they may be. Not only do you see that, but you also find comfort in it. You can break open this person, dissect them, and feel something powerful because of what you find — not in spite of it.
We should always strive to look at those we love in a new light. We should allow different reflections to appear, even for a brief moment. This helps us keep our sights set on those we love. When we see and accept different likenesses, we have found something really special.
You always risk something when you open up to somebody. Vulnerability never came easy to me. I hate opening myself, removing my shield of comfort. Of course, it is a fantastic thing to be challenged.
You should be uncomfortable sometimes.
On the other hand, trying to find intimacy can be absolutely grueling. It’s demanding, and then it can be easily taken away from you. You can be told none of it was even real.
We are hurt the most by the people we trust. Sometimes it isn’t even that person’s fault. This just happens by virtue of being a person who opens up to others. The hope is that we do not let loss prevent us from trying to find that something special again in the future.
Failing to be vulnerable with the people who love us can hurt too. I’ve seen how detrimental it can be to a relationship not to be able to be intimate with somebody on that level.
What does intimacy mean to you?